Davclip and Goliath (inspired by I Samuel 17)

And so the Philistines and the Hebrews meet on the table of battle...

Let us send one of our fighters and one of your fighters to decide the outcome of this battle!

We pick Goliath! (suckers)

Saul asks Davclip if he is sure he can take on Goliath. Davclip says, "I gots this"

Saul: "Want some armor?"

Davclip: "...naa..."

We choose Davclip! (crap)

Goliath: You're about to get pwnd

Davclip: Whatev

Now Goliath faught with a giant staple remover that he wielded with his giant disembodied hand

Observe...

GAHHH!

Davclip had a rubberband...

Davclip goes to the fresh sticky note paper to get a few good pieces...

"Thwap" goes the rubberband!

Boink!

Amd now to take his head...

To graphic to get into at work...

And thus concludes another tale of (clipicably) Biblical proportions! Thanks for checking it out! Again, any comments or suggestions to other stories I should do would be taken with glee! Until next time, God bless!

The Story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abedneclip (inspired by the Book of Daniel- chapter 3)

Once there was a stapler that could do no wrong. It was, as the cubical worker who used it put it, a "monster". Observe:

Utter perfection in stapleing. The action was smooth and the insertion was flawless.

This is what the cubical worker (who will form here on out be referred to as the "Cubecian") was used to using. This was the definition of a sub-standard stapler. Observe:

While automated, this stapler's action was rough and it's products inefficient. Overall, many staples were terminated after limited use because of this flawed machine:

"Into the cauldron of wasted clips with you, my friend"

A decree is made throughout the whole desk, "The Stapler of Awesomeness, the 'Beast', is to be worshiped for it's superior stapleing abilities! Bow down all ye clips!"

But Shadrach, Meshach, and Abedneclip refuse to bow down to the Stapler of Awesomeness...

Into the furnace with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abedneclip...

Lost some fine soldiers in the action...

But whats this?! There's a fourth clip in the fire with them! A BIG clip!

Release them!



I, the Cubecian, have learned my lesson. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the story. Come back soon for another great Desktop adventure! And please, feel free to leave a suggestion to any other tales (even movie scenes) you would like to see acted out by the office supplies!

Beginnings of a curio

So, I have no clue what I am doing right now. All I know is that I have a knack for being somewhat entertaining and for being bored while at work. That and having access to a crapload of office supplies. Some people write poems or short stories when they're bored. Some start random conversations. Some even contemplate other times when they were bored. Me, I turn paper clips into works of art. Observe:

You see, I'm a scanner. I scan paper. Lots of paper. Rediculous loads of paper. And this takes time. Lot's of time. Are my short sentences emphasising the utter duldrum of my life yet? Anyway, like I was saying, it takes a while for a batch of papers to be completely scanned through. This leaves alot of empty time that must be filled with something. Most times it is filled with self-loathing and plots to fake my death. However, every once in a while, inspiration will come to me and a work of art will suddenly be impressed upon my mind. However I am no artist. My hand is steady, but a brush is useless in my hand. My wit is sharp, but I lack the concentration and/or discipline to write out a briliant novel (or even a short story at that). I am unworthy to receive the visions that I do! But the Muse that vists me demands a tribute of tangibility. I must use what I have to recreate the vision. So, clips it is. Soon enough these simple characters developed more into stories that would unfold upon my desk. And more often than not, they would be Bible stories (though slightly skewed toward the office supply point of view). These are the visions that a certain friend of mine (another muse if you will) begged me to post in bloggal form so the rest of the world could be exposed to these curios. And thus is the beginning of this grand adventure...